Being trapped in the bullet train of nonsense and ugliness

Being trapped in the bullet train of nonsense and ugliness

Even I forget that I released a massive documentary some months ago…and that I worked so hard on that. I honestly forget about that quite often and deep down I feel a bit frustrated and sad that I do not do more. But maybe I just forget that I have put so much effort into that and perhaps that drained me of energy. Of course I am crazy busy with the driving license now and am doing other things in the background for TROM, but I need to remind myself that I’ve done a lot to scream, and I will do more, but I cannot be always like a machine that never stops. So I need some more time to get myself back on track and create new things, scream more and in different ways, and so forth.

I am trying, but the world in which we live is like a bullet-train of nonstop things happening. Most of them are idiotic and ugly. So most people are trapped in this race. Myself included many times. That’s why I forget about the documentary.

Wars, disasters, debates, problems, noise. Too much noise. And not much progress into any saner direction.

I ponder sometimes if I should stop trying, and live a quiet and simple life and not give a shit. I don’t know…it is hard to imagine that “me”. I started my “online activism” back in 2007 or so. That’s a scary 17 years ago. And the world has only gotten worse. So why continue I ask myself….

Maybe I just need to recharge myself this year and change my personal life quite a bit. To then have some new energy and motivation to do more, and newer. But also different.

It is also really difficult to try and manage all of these projects and the stuff that I do, with 20% of what I need financially in this trade world…if at least I had enough support to keep me afloat, I could have the confidence of doing more, and doing other things too in this direction.

For now I will be busy with the retarded driving test for the next 1-2 weeks. Then if I manage to pass the exam, it should be easier. I will have to wait a few months for the practical test (driving) but I am quite sure I can take that one. So let’s see how I organize myself and the TROM projects for the next months. I will post updates on my Friendica if course.


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